What is Intimacy and Relationship Coaching?
Similar to life coaching, intimacy and relationship coaching is a process that aims to assist clients by helping them to identify, work towards, and achieve their personal and/or relationship goals. Unlike a general life coach who may assist their client with organizational skills or weight loss, a coach who focuses on intimacy and relationships typically specializes in the more intimate areas of familial relationships which could include love, passion, partnerships, and, yes, sex*. It is the coach’s role to help the client clearly identify and consciously work through any challenges in order to guide and encourage them towards the personal growth they desire.
… love, passion, partnerships, and, yes, sex.
Why Would I Want to Hire an Intimacy and Relationship Coach?
Some clients may already have complete clarity and a solid understanding of exactly what it is they desire; they simply need a little encouragement or accountability along their journey. Here, coaching skills provide the tools they need to get there. Others might not know for sure exactly what it is they want in terms of their intimate and/or sexual relationships, only that they want more. A professional relationship coach is skilled in asking effective questions that can help their clients have a better understanding of their own relationship and/or sexual objectives. Still other clients may be struggling with specific challenges in their personal lives or relationships which are keeping them from the goals or outcomes they want; again, it is the coach’s role to help the client clearly identify and consciously work through these roadblocks in order to guide and encourage them towards the personal growth they aspire to.
A professional relationship coach is skilled in asking effective questions that can help their clients have a better understanding of their own relationship objectives.
Isn’t Intimacy and Relationship Coaching Just Therapy?
No. Intimacy and relationship coaches do not work with clients on past-based issues or traumas. In fact, I would refer anyone who is dealing with serious repercussions from deep sexual trauma to seek counsel with a medical professional or licensed sex therapist.** Intimacy and relationship coaches are neither sexologists nor psychotherapists. Most coaching clients are healthy, successful people from all walks of life who are likely just a bit stuck or simply want to add new dimensions to their love lives or clarity in familial relationships and want the support of a coach to do so. Therapy is analogous to a medical doctor trying to cure an “ailment” (from a pathological perspective), assuming the patient is in need of fixing (e.g., through psychotherapy or prescription drugs). On the other hand, coaching assumes that clients are whole, resilient beings who are simply in need of informed, educational options and a supportive advocate.
… my role is to listen with a trained ear, and without judgement, before discussing potential approaches and encouraging you towards achieving your own sensuous desires.
Couldn’t I Just Talk to my Best Friend Instead of Hiring an Intimacy and Relationship Coach?
Of course you can; but, best friends are seldom trained professionals in the same areas of intimate and/or sexual relationships as coaches. Rarely are best friends able to offer truly objective insights about your love and/or sex life. It isn’t unusual for friends to fear their honest opinions may hurt your feelings, or worse, jeopardize your friendship. In a client-coach relationship, you as the client, are in charge. You set your own goals. You set the coaching session(s) agenda. You make your own decisions. The coach may offer potential approaches, discuss available options, and encourage outside resources, but the client is always ultimately responsible for their own life and actions. A well-trained coach has the appropriate tools to guide their client, but not the power to make a client do anything they themselves do not choose to do, and an authentic coach does not have any hidden agendas.
In a client-coach relationship, you as the client, are in charge.
* A note on Adult Sex Education:
While I believe that sex and intimacy can be two separate components of healthy adult relationships, I believe the two are intrinsically linked; therefore, I do not usually make obvious distinctions between the two. However, if you know that you are seeking instruction related strictly to sexual topics (outside of or apart from relationship coaching), you may request a complimentary introduction to advanced sex and pleasure education here. ♥I believe in the fundamental goodness of all humans’ sexuality and in the indispensable birth right of all people to accept and embrace their sexuality.♥
** I am not a medical professional.
My coaching style is not prescriptive. Rather, it is collaborative and peer-based. I am not a medical professional, guru, or magician. My client is in charge. My client sets their own coaching goals and their own desired outcomes. As their coach, I provide expert guidance, thoughtful and action-provoking questions, and accountability and encouragement as requested by each client.